I'm not trying to be mean or anything, but they have this amazing thing... it's called spell check. Your bad spelling takes away from what little story you have. I would suggest making longer chapters and not just throwing it together willy nilly. At least if you're looking to have a good story that can't be criticized, but if that's not your aim, so be it. I know this review must sound rude but it's not meant that way. It's the beta in me coming out. I am blunt and to the point with my crits, I find authors respond better to that. Sure they get mad, but anger is good fuel for a writer. Hope you at least take my suggestions as food for thought.

i wish to read more please write some more and i'll write another review