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I don't know what to say about this one other than I only wrote this based on the behavior of my dogs. If you find it funny then I am glad I made you laugh. If not then you're probably thinking the same thing I am and that's What the hell was I thinking?

XX

“What is that?”

Kagome looked at the item held up in her hand and smirked. “Revenge. Torture.” She shrugged her shoulder and smirked evilly. “Whatever you deem necessary to call it.”

“How will that…” Sesshoumaru plucked the item from her fingers. “Bring the hanyou down?”

Kagome snorted. “Lets just call it instinct, territorial rights; ya know the whole inu thing as it goes.” She waved her hand in the air. “I’m only doing this for a good laugh and nothing else.” She stepped up to him and plucked the item from his hand and wrapped her arms around his waist. “Will you do it?” She asked as she placed a kiss upon his neck just above his collar bone.

Sesshoumaru ran his claws through her hair. “You will pay the price.”

Kagome didn’t know if that was a request, an order, or a demand but she would gladly give him whatever it was he wanted. Hell she would do whatever he wanted even if he didn’t help her. “I can’t wait.” She whispered as she gave him a quick peck on the cheek before stepping away from him.

xx

“Why you little brat!” Inuyasha yelled as he attempted to snatch up the fox kit before he could get away.

“Inuyasha.” Miroku warned as he placed his staff in front of the angry hanyou, blocking him from obtaining his goal. “You do know that if Lady Kagome returns and finds a single scratch on Shippou; you will be sat so hard you’ll be picking dirt out of your teeth for the next five years.”

“Keh” Inuyasha huffed as he pushed the staff away from in front of him.

“Inuyasha!” Kagome screamed as she entered the clearing where their camp was situated.

The hanyou plastered his ears to his head at his friend’s high pitched shriek. “Oi wench!” He hissed with a pointed finger in her direction. “Shut your loud mouth!”

Kagome narrowed her azure eyes at the hanyou. “Do I need to say it?” She question in a low deadly voice. “Or are you going to quit behaving like a baka?”

He curled his lip in response and crossed his arms over his chest. “Keh fine.” He growled then leapt up into the nearest tree.

A smirk played on Kagome’s lips as she walked over to the tree he was sitting in. “Inuyasha come down here. I have something for you.” She sing songed up at him.

Inuyasha looked down at her wearily. “You will sit me if I do.”

Kagome snorted. “I can do that from here. Now come down here.” She held a bag up and shook it lightly. “Do you want this or not? Or maybe I’ll just give it to Shippou. He’ll appreciate it and guard it with his life like the brave little fox he is.” She cocked her head to the side. “Yea I think I will do that. I need someone who is responsible, brave, and strong to protect this item with their life.” She scrunched her nose up at him. “I don’t think you’re man enough for the job.” She turned and began walking away. “There is always Koga or even your brother I could turn to, to guard this. Yea, Sesshoumaru will do nicely.”

Before she could take another step, she had a figure clad in red blocking her path. “You will give it to me to protect.” He didn’t know what IT was, but if it was that important to her only he was powerful enough to protect it.

“I don’t know Inuyasha.” She started wearily. “Are you sure you can handle the responsibility? I mean it’s very important that no one, and I mean under no circumstances should anyone get their hands on this.” She opened the bag and pulled out the item in question; holding it up in front of his face.

Inuyasha eyeballed the item in her hand critically. “What is it?”

“Oh…” She started dramatically. “This is a very very important item. This…” She waved it back and forth in front of his face and smirked inwardly as his eyes locked onto the object, following its path back and forth in front of his face. “Is something your brother desires greatly; even above Tessaiga. If he gets a hold of this nothing good can come of it.” She stated with a nod of her head. “Yet I just don’t think you’re mature enough to take on the responsibility of guarding this from your brother.”

Inuyasha reached out and grabbed the object from her hand and held it close to him protectively. “I will keep that bastard from ever getting his hands on it.” He growled in irritation at her thinking him not to be strong or mature enough to keep the strange object safe.

Kagome cocked an eyebrow at him. “Alright then, I will give you a try; but if anyone other than you… me included touches that then I will know I made a mistake in letting you guard this.” She reached out to touch it and smirked when he turned away from her to keep her from touching it.

She turned, walked over to Miroku and whispered in his ear. “See if you can get that away from him.”

Miroku furrowed his eyebrows but agreed to her request. Making his way over to the hunched over hanyou, he tapped him on the shoulder. “What do you have there Inuyasha?” Miroku asked trying to peek around him to get a good look at it.

It didn’t click in Inuyasha’s brain that Miroku saw Kagome hand him the precious object; all he knew was that he was suppose to protect it with his life. “Nothin.” He growled lowly in a threatening manner.

“I just want to see it Inuyasha and see what it is.” Miroku pressed.

Inuyasha didn’t respond; just continued to growl low in his throat.

He placed his hand on the hanyou’s shoulder in an attempt to pull him up and was shocked still at Inuyasha’s response.

Inuyasha spun on the monk, teeth bared, ears back threateningly, and growling loudly. His eyes held a deadly glint to them, causing Miroku to take a step back. “Inuyasha?” Miroku questioned wearily.

The hanyou continued to growl but not as loudly, yet still kept a watchful eye on the hoshi. He gave the monk one more warning growl then leapt up into the highest tree in the area to prevent anyone else from attempting to get the item from him. He liked the thing; it smelled good, fit perfectly in his hand, and apparently many wanted to get their hands on it. This thing was his and he would never give it up for any reason.

Kagome pulled her bottom lip between her teeth to keep from laughing at Inuyasha’s display.

Miroku stared wide eyed at Kagome. “What did you give to him?” He asked with a weary yet curious glance up at the hanyou in the tree.

“Oh you will soon find out.” Kagome said with a nod and an unnerving evil smirk on her lips. “Just wait until tomorrow. However, between now and then we all need to threaten to take away his precious item so that when it happens, it…” She trailed off.

Shippou jumped up on her shoulder. “When what happens?!” He question with barely contained excitement. He could tell that Kagome was up to something that would make the hanyou look like the jerk he was and he couldn’t wait to see what she was up to.

Kagome snorted. “Let’s just say we’ll all get a good laugh out of it.”

xx

Sango walked into the camp only to find three of her companions laughing and Inuyasha growling threateningly at the whole lot of them. “What’s going on?” She questioned and only managed to get Shippou’s attention.

The kit stumbled over to the slayer, laughing and wiping the tears from his eyes. “Oh Sango, you're just in time.” He said between laughs. “Kagome and… Inuyasha and… and… the thing….” He fell over laughing. “Won’t let anyone….” He attempted pull himself back up to his feet. “Tou…. Touch it!”

Sango stared down at the kit as he once again fell over laughing. She turned to the other two on the ground laughing hysterically then looked over to the hunched over, posturing threateningly, hanyou. “What is going on?” She questioned again but was ignored.

Making her way over to the hanyou she looked down at him and easily noted that he had something held protectively in his hand. “What is that Inuyasha?” She asked as she reached out to grab it from him.

Inuyasha snapped his teeth at her in warning and Sango jerked her hand back. She turned to look at the hoshi and her best friend, eyebrows raised in question.

“Do… do it… HAHAHA… do it again!” Kagome laughed as she pointed at Inuyasha.

Sango huffed as she crossed her arms over her chest. “WHAT IS GOING ON?!” She bit out; her patience hanging by a thread.

Kagome being the only one who could mostly contain herself enough to speak, rose to her feet, made her way over to the confused woman and whispered in her ear.

Sango’s eyes went wide and when the miko was done speaking to her; she turned and faced the hanyou with a large grin on her face. Kneeling down in front of the hanyou she smirked. “What have you got there?” She questioned as if she were speaking to a young child. “Can I see it?” She began chuckling when he pulled the item closer to his body. “Aww… you’re not going to share with me?” She asked with disappointment in her voice as she reached out her hand in an attempt to take it away from him.

She quickly found out why everyone was laughing so hard; Inuyasha began barking, actually barking at her like a common, everyday, ordinary dog. This was too good a chance to get back at the hanyou for all his crap over the years to pass up. With a quickness that only years of demon slaying and training could produce she shot her hand out grabbed the item in his hand and quickly, before he could react, flung it into the forest.

The end result was the entire group; Inuyasha excluded, fell over laughing so hard they all had tears falling down their cheeks. The sight of Inuyasha chasing after the thing on all four barking and growling was more than any of them could take. It was something that was going to be burned into their minds for the rest of their lives.

xx

The next morning Sesshoumaru silently entered the clearing to be met with the three humans and one kit sitting around the morning fire chuckling and occasionally breaking out with a side splitting laugh. He could easily scent out the hanyou but couldn’t see him anywhere. “Where is the hanyou filth? He has something that belongs to this Sesshoumaru and I will be retrieving it now.”

When the last word left his lips a loud thunk sounded at his feet and the hanyou’s companions began laughing with force. Looking down he noted that Tessaiga was now lying at his feet to easily be plucked up by any who deemed it necessary to abscond with the sword. Following the sword’s flight path he looked up into the tree and found the hanyou with teeth bared, ears perked, fist pulled close to his chest, and growling so ferally he was certain that Inuyasha’s beast was coming to the surface. Yet upon closer inspection he noted that his eyes weren’t the blood red of an out of control beast, but the normal gold of a hanyou in complete control although sounding more like a mongrel than anything else.

“Hanyou.” He sated like it was an order; which it was telling the hanyou to come out of the tree he was sitting in and to face him. All he got in return was a loud growl and the narrowing of his gold eyes. Sesshoumaru narrowed his own eyes and walked elegantly over to the base of the tree and efficiently sent the tree crashing to the ground with the hanyou still in it.

This action caused the group to laugh hysterically again as the hanyou leapt from the downed tree with the item between his teeth, growling, and posturing on all fours. Sesshoumaru smirked slightly, being he too found the actions of the hanyou to be rather amusing. “You will relinquish what belongs to this Sesshoumaru.” He stated menacingly.

Inuyasha dropped his ears, gave a muffled growl, and moved back away from the threat to his precious item. It wasn’t so much that he really wanted the item or the fact that it smelled good and had a nice taste to it. No it wasn’t those things; it was the fact that he had it, everybody else wanted it, and he was the only one who had the precious thing.

At first he only took the thing because Kagome was so adamant that his ass hole of a brother and everyone else around him wanted it for whatever reasons and she needed him to protect it; but after a night of everyone trying to take the thing from him it became his own goal to keep the thing as his own and to never let anyone have it and here-so-far he had been doing a wonderful job of protecting it. Now his brother was here and wanted what clearly belong to this Inuyasha and there was no way he was going to give it up.

Sesshoumaru felt something attach itself to his arm and looking down he noted that it was the miko.

“Oh Kami Sesshoumaru.” She laughed. “I don’t know how much more of this I can take. I think I might die of laughter if we don’t bring this to an end.”

Sesshoumaru smirked down at her. “Very well.”

“Just don’t hurt him too badly.” Kagome stated as she released his arm.

He ignored her plea as he walked towards the ever retreating hanyou. Using his speed and agility, the hanyou didn’t see him coming and easily snatched the item away. The end result had his companions falling on the ground laughing so hard they could scarcely breathe.

Instead of the typical Inuyasha spouting his vulgar obscenities and flinging around his sword like a mad man; they ended up with the hanyou running around on all fours, barking, growling, and trying to get back his precious item.

Sesshoumaru wondered for the briefest of moments why the hanyou didn’t just stand up and take the thing from his hand; but the current situation with the hanyou jumping from all fours to get the thing from his hand was much more entertaining. “Hanyou you are a disgrace.” Sesshoumaru stated with disgust.

Inuyasha just growled threateningly in response.

“Do you desire to have this back?” He questioned with a smirk and only got a growling bark in return. “Very well…” He started easily deciphering what the hanyou was saying with all his animalistic sounds. “I will return this to you for something you have. Do we have an accord?”

The hanyou gave a strange bark in response and was pleased when the thing came flying at him and he easily caught it between his teeth.

Just as Sesshoumaru turned to face his companions another one of Inuyasha’s growls sounded in his ears and he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. If he didn’t already think his sibling to be a simpleton he would be sure of it now.

“What did he say?” Kagome asked with a chuckle.

Sesshoumaru kept his eyes locked with his sibling’s and repeated what the hanyou had said. “He insists that I have to watch him eat it.”

Kagome and gang broke out laughing. “Are you serious?” Kagome gasped out.

Sesshoumaru gave a curt nod as he watched his sibling slowly eat the thing. Sometimes he would lick it, other times he would bite off a small chunk; but he was taking his damn time about the whole thing.

“Why does he want you to watch him?” She just had to know because she knew it had to be funny.

“So that I will know that it belongs to him and always will.” Sesshoumaru responded.

“Oh God!” Kagome gasped out between laughs. “Like you would want it anyway!”

Once Inuyasha finally got the last bite down, he eyeballed his brother for a few moments before slowly rising to his feet. He felt like a haze that held his mind in its hold had just lifted as he looked around at all the laughing beings around him. “What the fuck is going on?!” He questioned accusingly. “And what is HE doing here?!” He bit out with a pointed finger towards his brother.

“I am here to collect that which is now rightfully mine.” Sesshoumaru stated coolly.

Inuyasha looked at the thing attached to his arm and narrowed his eyes. “Kagome! Get the fuck away from him!” He yelled as he reached for his sword, only to find it missing.

“Here Inuyasha.” Miroku said as he tossed the hanyou his precious sword.

Once in his hand the sword transformed to its bigger more threatening form. “I will kill you! You bastard!” Inuyasha yelled.

“Hold on Inuyasha.” Kagome stated as she moved to stand in front of Sesshoumaru. “Don’t make me say it.” Which halted the hanyou mid swing.

“What?! You are protecting him?!” Inuyasha bellowed.

Kagome rolled her eyes. “He hardly needs me to protect him.” She stated exasperatedly then moved towards her bag. Opening it up, she pulled out a box and shook it.

“What is that?” He questioned as he eyeballed the box. The picture on the side of the box held a common dog with a strange yet familiar thing in its mouth.

“This…” Kagome stated as she reached into the box and pulled out one of the items within. “Is called a dog biscuit.” She watched as his eyes locked onto it intently. “You have so kindly traded me to your brother for one of these.”

“I did?” Inuyasha whispered as that strange haze that only a short time ago lifted from his mind, resettled itself making everything seem rather surreal.

Sesshoumaru walked over to Kagome and snatched the biscuit from her hand. “Half-breed you are an insult to the name you carry.” He stated then flung the biscuit into the woods.

“Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!” Kagome gasped between laughs as Inuyasha instantly fell to all fours and chased off after the thing; then she literally fell on her ass laughing along with her group of friends as Inuyasha’s voice trailed behind him.

“Biscuit? Biscuit? Biscuit! My biscuit! MineMineMine!”

It was too much for even the demon lord to handle as a small chuckle passed his lips. He looked down when he felt something latch onto his pant leg.

“Kami Sesshoumaru!” Kagome gasped. “Even though I was…” She laughed again. “I was traded for nothing more than a dog biscuit…” She climbed up the front of him, wrapping her arms around his neck. “It was well worth the laugh.”

Sesshoumaru wrapped his arms around the miko, pulling her close. “Hai.” He agreed; then leaned down and pressed his lips to hers, kissing her deeply.

Kagome melted into the kiss, locking her fingers into his silky hair; when suddenly the sound of bushes rustling from behind her and her companions renewed laughter drew her attention away from her demon lord, and caused her own laughter to make itself known once again.

All eyes watched in watery laughter as Inuyasha came trouncing out of the bushes on all fours, his head held high in victory, with his precious biscuit between his teeth. He then found a small shallow in the dirt, dropped his biscuit in the center, stood over it circling it about three times, then laid down on top of it. He followed all that up with a glare and small growl of warning to each one of the beings sitting around him, before he laid his head down upon his arms and promptly fell asleep.

“Oh Kami!” Kagome gasped out laughing hysterically.

Sesshoumaru wrapped his arms around her tightly to keep her from falling into a laughing heap at his feet. Had he known that it would be this easy to bring the hanyou under control he would have done it a long time ago. “Miko, you will tell this Sesshoumaru what else you have in your time that will bring the hanyou under such control.”

Kagome turned to face the love of her life. “What don’t I have?” She laughed out. “The next time you let me go home I will come back with a thing called a kong.” She gave several gasping laughs before continuing. “That will be worth a million laughs. But first you and I are going to have some fun of our own. As soon…” She watched as Inuyasha’s back leg twitched several times then settle, causing her to begin her laughter anew. She locked her hands into his haori. “As soon as I stop laughing!” She laughed out and continued to do so as her demon placed hot kisses upon her neck to keep himself from laughing at his idiot brother's antics.
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