Date: 04 May 2009 4:36:07 PM Title: Chapter 3
Interesting chapter. I can't wait to find out Inuyasha's punishment. *laughing* Update as soon as you can.
thanks glad you like it and dont worie i've started the next chapter but im having writers block and ive been so busy ive had barely any time to write ill try to post soon
~Anime Queen 14
Date: 13 Apr 2009 8:04:49 PM Title: Chapter 2
Much much better. Update soon, I want to see where this story goes. Hmm.... I wonder what happens when Natomie finds out about Inuyasha and Kikyo..... I feel bad for him.
yea iv been working on this new chapter and im hopeing to have it up by tomorrow. it's weird because even though i'm writing the storie it feels like im reading it for the first time.
I'm kinda sad that im the author of the storie because i feel sorry for inuyasha because while his sister loves him very much she can't stand kikyo, so i feel sorry for how she handles it btu thats what makes natomie, natomie. I"m glad you are enjoying the storie.
~Anime Queen 14
Date: 12 Apr 2009 10:11:46 PM Title: Chapter 1
Ha! InuYasha and Sesshomaru have a sister! Cute! You have been reviewing my story, so I'll express my opinion on yours. :) Very cute and creative, here's a suggestion, type it up in word, then use the key controls to copy and paste, it will help with all the grammer issues! Trust me! Please update when you can! :)
Thanks i actualy did type it up on word but for some reason sometimes it comes out all screwed up when i post it. i hope the grammer isn't too bad because im trying to get it to work rite. I was never to good with grammer in school and i guess it finaly caught up with me. lol ^_^
Ps: I Knew people would think natomie was cute. I'm trying to give her a personality mixed between inuyasha,shesshomaru and their father i hope it's working. here is the new chapter i hope the gramer is better. Thanks for the review.:)
~Anime Queen 14
Date: 12 Apr 2009 1:39:04 AM Title: Chapter 1
Okay I'm going to give you an honest review. :) I love the story itself. It's cool. But the spelling and grammer throws it off. I'd say the main problem is you don't always add "" when people talk and that makes it REALLY confusing. But besides the technicalities such as grammer and spelling the story itself is good. Personally as you can tell from my stories I'm a Kagome and Inuyasha fan so I would prefer if he was dating Kagome but this is your story so run with it girl! :) But really you need to work on adding the "" marks when someone is talking cause it's confusing. This isn't a flame or anything, but you asked me to check out your story and I want to give you my honest opinion. So total A on the story idea and origionality! But work on your spelling and grammer. It will REALLY improve the entire story! I promise! :)
i had a feeling that you would say that im not the best when it comes to my spelling and sometimes when i type things to fast i forget to add things like "" but i planned on editing the storie today and truned out i couldn't because some family things came up and i never got around to it. I plan on doing that today because i have time. Im glad you like the storie.
Ps: im an inuyasha kagome fan too, natomie is kinda like me in some ways like she can't stand kikyo. don't worie it gets better just wait and see what happens when natomie finds out about the two. *laughs*
Date: 11 Apr 2009 8:38:39 AM Title: Chapter 1
Good first chapter. I'll give you some advice a review gave me one time when I had just started writing fan-fiction. When writing a part with two or more characters having a conversation, Make sure to specify who is talking at each time. "Quatations" help to divide dialoge from the writing as well. I can't wait to read more of your story.
When i reread my first chapter i was wondering if i spaced it out enough and if i specified who was talking clearly. most of my story will be centered around Natoime but her friends and family also play a big role. I'll try to keep what you said to me in mind and i'll try to be clearer in my next chapter.
Anime Queen 14