Date: 26 Apr 2008 5:40:01 AM Title: Chapter 1
wow cool story im gonna read on cuz this is pretty cool
[Report This]Date: 20 Aug 2007 9:10:43 AM Title: Chapter 1
This is very unique. I read a story once where Kagome became blind, but this is totally different and I can't wait to see what else goes.
To Lucifer_Spades: The use of 'remedied' was used properly. As in 'to fix', which is one of the meanings of the word.
The other error, I agree with.
Please update soon Nile!
Date: 07 Aug 2007 5:33:34 AM Title: Chapter 1
I like this story very much. The plot is sufficiently original, and the characterizations believable.
There were several sticky spots that could use cleaning up, some tongue tripping sentences and misused words, that distracted from the tale. For example in chapter one.
"Both males were not happy to be touching each other, but considering Miroku’s mortal stamina could only last so long running, and Kagome had sought another form of transportation, no other solution could be remedied."
The section "but considering Miroku's mortal stamina could only last so long running", is very tongue tripping and hard to understand without pausing for a moment, and the word "remedied" is misused in the format of the sentance.
All in all it was a good read, and the point was gotten throughout. I look forward to reading future works.
~*Luce*~