Date: 03 Jul 2013 11:00:14 PM Title: Chapter 6 - Visitors
He's always so sweet towards Rin, I love it -smiles;
xoxo Mikazuki
Date: 24 Nov 2008 8:54:19 PM Title: Chapter 6 - Visitors
Incorrect: Sesshomaru turned and walked from the kitchen followed in toe by Jaken
Correct:
Sesshoumaru turned and walked from the kitchen followed by Jaken.
or
Sesshoumaru turned and walked from the kitchen with Jaken in tow.
Incorrect: Her and Rin were setting
Correct: She and Rin were setting
Incorrect: At one point Jaken had scolded her tell her
Correct: At one point Jaken had scolded her telling her
You also need to use some commas. You have a lot of introductory phrases and parenthetical phrases that need commas.
Story is still very entertaining.
Author's Response:
See what happens when you don't proof read before posting. Thanks a lot. I am going to make the corrections and edit the chapters. I can't believe that I missed all of those. :-/ I am glad that you like the story, I know how distracting poor grammer can be.
Date: 21 Nov 2008 6:44:15 AM Title: Chapter 6 - Visitors
So, she was tickled that he liked her breakfast. He only commented because Rin forced him to.
[Report This]Date: 19 Nov 2008 7:41:53 AM Title: Chapter 6 - Visitors
Wow...Kagome cooked for them and got a compliment. InuYasha never did that unless it was to get ramen or potato chips.
Jaken really knows how to take his own words.....dramatic imp...lol
Author's Response:
I thought that it was an opportunity to actually have Kagome get a compliment on her cooking. Glad to see that someone noticed. :-)
Date: 19 Nov 2008 5:32:58 AM Title: Chapter 6 - Visitors
ah what a wounderful there is little Rin great chapter once again please update soon
Author's Response: Once again glad to satisfy. I am working on the next chapter right now. Hopefully I will have it in tonight or at the very least by morning.