Date: 17 Aug 2012 7:17:41 AM Title: Chapter 8
Ups... he mated her -smiles; I wonder what drama that will come out of that, I bet it will be breath taking. I can't wait to read it -smiles wide;
Friendly greetings
Mikazuki
Date: 11 Jul 2012 2:09:49 PM Title: Chapter 5
Well I think you get his character well, she he in the serie be in to Kagome, I think this is how he would be it -smiles;
Friendly greetings
Mikazuki
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Date: 27 Jun 2012 7:51:11 PM Title: Chapter 2
Nice job. I love this chapter. Please update soon! ^.^
Date: 27 Jun 2012 6:42:03 PM Title: Chapter 1
oops, haha I hadnt even noticed that i did that! Thanks so much for pointing it out! :)
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Date: 27 Jun 2012 9:06:20 AM Title: Chapter 1
I love the plot, and I will keep reading on. I'm just going to quickly point out one thing I noticed in this chapter that kind of bother and confused me.
You put the sentence in third person, and in first perosn. It doesn't really make sense when you put it in bith. So if I were you I would stick to third person. It seems most readers like it that way.
Example:
First Person: I felt like throwing up.
Third Person: Kagome felt like throwing up.
Hope it helped, and I look forward to the next chapter! ^.^