Date: 21 Jun 2013 11:35:04 PM Title: The Talk
lol he does like it!
Date: 31 Jul 2008 3:44:23 AM Title: The Talk
Awww......that was so cute!
Date: 26 Apr 2008 5:24:23 AM Title: The Talk
Um kinda cheery but sorry i dont like t too much.
Date: 16 Sep 2007 4:45:14 AM Title: The Talk
Hmm... I like that this was in character; you find quite a few OOC Inuyasha fics on the net. So it's a relief. Much like I'm really happy to see that you've actually got good spelling and grammar; I don't know how many fics I read in a day that are just wrought with mistakes and it annoys me greatly (I edit whilst reading without meaning to, so many mistakes are very distracting). But this isn't like them, it possesses good English. I salute you for it.
I think you could make this better by adding description to it. I'm an avid fan of clear pictures. This seems like a skeleton to me, with Miroku, Sango and other character's actions and reactions and thoughts, however, nothing else seems to be there to draw out my imagination. Not that you didn't put any in at all, you have description like so: "his dark blue eyes full of concern", but there's a lot still left in the air. The part where Sango blushes because she thinks about talking to Miroku had me confused for this reason. Was Sango blushing brightly, as though her face had turned into a tomato? Or were her cheeks sprinkled with pink?
Anyway, it was an interesting read. I like the thought of Sango confronting Miroku on his hand and it's bad habits. Gives me something to think about. Again, you've got great grammar and spelling, and the characters are in character (thank the heavens!), though your description needs work. Well done, keep writing. ^_^
- Lupi