Date: 27 Jun 2012 5:06:20 AM Title: Chapter 1
I love the plot, and I will keep reading on. I'm just going to quickly point out one thing I noticed in this chapter that kind of bother and confused me.
You put the sentence in third person, and in first perosn. It doesn't really make sense when you put it in bith. So if I were you I would stick to third person. It seems most readers like it that way.
First Person: I felt like throwing up.
Third Person: Kagome felt like throwing up.
Hope it helped, and I look forward to the next chapter! ^.^