Date: 29 Sep 2007 2:40:53 AM Title: The Little Girl
I admit, I was rather iffy with reading this. You often find badly written poetry (or I do in the least surrounding fanfiction. I don't write it (I don't have the poetic talk working for me in the slightest), but I know what I like.
This is lovely. Not over the moon fantastic, but something you should be proud of. Your description is charming, pretty: "hair spun of moonlight" has to be my favourite line. And the line following it in which you describe Sesshomaru's eyes. Enchanting, that's what they are.
I have a bit of critique though; some of your lines seem to stumble, because either words are repeated too close to each other, or the line seems to go on for too long. The second line and it's "still smiled all the time" is an example. It sounds as though you couldn't think of anything better to write and thus doesn't amount to the prettiness that most of the rest of the poem reaches. Perhaps you could say: But she continued to grin and laugh. Or something like it.
But overall, I liked it. It's pretty well written. Lovely work, I hope to see more from you. ^_^