Kagome was lost.
She sat alone in her room, late into the night, staring down at the rosary that once hung around InuYasha's neck. The beads were so familiar, and smooth. Yet they were cold. Not hanging around his neck, they were lifeless.
She wondered if the spell was still within the beads anymore, or if that too, was broken. She pondered wearing it herself, wearing everything that had been his, and never letting go of them.
After all, they were all that was left of InuYasha, aside from her memories.
Kagome had been attached to his possessions for months now, still refusing to accept the dark truth. He was gone, and all that was left was a necklace, a haori, and a sword. All three of which she kept with her in the modern era.
She was terrified to be without them, and often slept in his fire rat haori. On top of that, she hadn't returned to the feudal era since he was laid to rest. She knew she needed to, that no matter what, she had to complete the jewel, and cast Naraku into oblivion, but her soul couldn't handle the pain of losing InuYasha. All she could do was cry, and keep herself locked up in her room.
Until now.
She had reached a decision. If InuYasha taught her anything, it was that life went on, no matter what happened to the ones you care about. And you couldn't stop living too, no matter how much you wished you had died too, because the ones you lost would want you to move on, and be happy.
He wouldn't want her to drown in her sorrow, he wouldn't want her to be sad. Just like she didn't want him to be sad. If only things had turned out different…
She set the rosary back inside the wooden box she had it stored in, and she then gently folded up the haori, and placed in the box as well, before closing it up slowly.
If she was going to heal, she had to let him rest, even if that meant distancing herself from what once belonged to him. She would return to it one day, when the memory wasn't so painful, and vivid.
And when his scent didn't make her heart seems as if it were being crushed by an iron vise. Even now, she could still smell him on his haori.
She slid the box under her bed, beside a few other boxes containing schoolwork she desperately needed to catch up on, and laid the sword under there as well, next to the boxes. She adjusted her bed skirt, so show no signs of anything beneath her bed, and stood slowly.
Today would be the first step she took towards healing, though the other end of the path seemed bleak, and nonexistent. Still, she had to begin moving forward, for InuYasha's sake. Truthfully, she couldn't imagine her life without him anymore, even when she thought that he would choose Kikyo over her, she still saw him in her future, but now…
All she saw was uncertainty.
And it was the worst feeling too. Despite that, she began to get ready for the first day of high school, with a new uniform, and a new course in life, and afterwards…she would go back to the warring states era to finish what was started.
After all, InuYasha needed to be avenged, and she would be the one to bring it to fruition. But before she began such a task, she had to overcome her grief, otherwise, she would simply end up dying right behind him.
She prayed for the strength to get through the day. Everyone knew that she was mourning someone close to her, and had refused to see everyone for a few months. All they knew was what her mother, or grandfather told them over the phone. And she was grateful her mother respected her wishes to have her left alone until she was ready to live again.
Now she not only had to face life, but her friends, whom she knew wouldn't be too happy with her, but once she explained just who it was that died…
She left the house without a word to anyone, and glanced down at her royal blue skirt. It was a bit longer than her middle school uniform had been, and now, she had a sweater as well. to wear with her uniform. She realized then just how sick she was of uniforms, and rules. Maybe she should take some time off, before beginning high school.
Starting it off in this frame of mind wouldn't help her to do well at all…her failing grades from missing so much school in middle school didn't help.
She made her way slowly across the shrine grounds, keeping extra care to not look at the well house, or sacred tree. Seeing such symbols, especially the tree, would only make her feel worse than she already did.
She hurried down the shrines steps, to the street, and quickened her pace, putting as much distance from herself, and every reminder of him as humanly possible. She knew that such a thought was sad in itself, but she had to do t, otherwise, she would die inside, and wouldn't ever be able to move on. InuYasha would understand…
The school grounds were crazy when she arrived. People were talking to each other, bustling about, preparing for the first day, and she suddenly felt out of place in it all. She didn't recognize a single face in the crowd as she made her way to the building
She made her way through a group of middle school girls, wearing her old style of uniform, and they seemed so…young to her, for some reason. It made her past endeavors in middle school seem like a lifetime ago. Things really did seem simpler back then...
The door was in reach, and she moved her arm out to grab the door handle when…a hand reached it first, and opened it before her.
She was one that believed in fate, not coincidence, and that all things happened for a reason. But when she turned, and looked at the face of the high school boy that opened the door for her, she felt like she had been holding her breath for too long, and inhaled sharply.
There he stood, in the black uniform all high school boys wore, with a warm smile, and a twinkle in his violet eyes. His hair was cut in a shaggy, modern style, that still retained the same shape she remembered.
"Ladies first," his voice spoke, politely.
She'd expected a different timber of voice, deeper, maybe. After all, being a reincarnation herself, she had a different voice than Kikyo had, and many small aspects were different, but his voice…
….was exactly the same it had always been.
She hurried through the door quickly, and could FEEL him following her. That was one thing about InuYasha, she could feel when he was nearby. And it was the same now, as it was then.
But then again, it could be her mind playing tricks on her, since his death was so fresh to her, though to this reincarnation, it was well over five hundred years ago. So it made sense, sort of.
She hastened her pace, and could feel his quicken as well. She hurried into her classroom, and was about to claim the seat farthest in the back when a hand landed on her shoulder. And she nearly screamed.
She spun around to meet the uncharacteristically happy face , which was holding her calculus textbook in one hand.
"Luckily, we share the same class, you dropped this by the school entrance," he explained. Her mind kept reeling.
Why now? Why now of all times did he have to be thrust into her life?
She wanted to run away, yet at the same time, she quelled the urge to embrace him. So, she simply accepted her textbook, with a weak smile.
"Thank you." she replied just as weakly.
He glanced around the room then, and bit his lower lip. For an instant, his unusually happy expression clouded into an expression all to familiar to her, and tears threatened.
"Um, I know this may sound strange, but have we met before? You seem so familiar," he asked.
The floodgates burst, and she began to cry, right there, in front of everyone. And she noted, despite the tears, and anguish, he reacted the same way InuYasha did whenever she cried. His hands waved about wildly, and he had a look of fear, and shock on his face.
"No no! Don't cry! What did I say?! I'm sorry! Please stop!" he seemed to plead at her, but she couldn't help it, it had been too much. And before what happened could register in her mind, he was ushering her out of the classroom, and out of the school completely, towards the soft grassy schoolyard.
She fell down onto the grass, with an unceremonious plop, and covered her face with her hands. He sat down too, and she silently wished him to go away. After a moment, she got her emotions back under control, and slowly moved her hands away, only to find him staring at her with an overly concerned expression.
"You're Kagome, aren't you.?" he asked. She fought the sudden urge to hit him just then.
"How did you know my name?" she asked in bewilderment. He smiled again.
"Ah, well, my family is close friends with one of your friend's family. Ayumi told me all about you." he supplied.
She groaned inwardly. Which meant, he knew she was extremely strange, always sickly, and possibly demented. But, then again, Ayumi didn't see her the way the others did. Ayumi was the most tolerable of the group. He seemed to shift slightly, to sit more comfortably, leaning back against a large tree.
"What's your name?" she asked carefully. He glanced towards the school, then back at her.
"I'm Shoji," he said. Her heart hammered in her chest. She then recalled Ayumi speaking of the son of a close family before, but they lived overseas at the time, and this was when Inuyasha was still alive too…
"Are you alright, Kagome?" he asked.
She blinked at him. Was she? For the first time, she could say that she knew exactly how Inuyasha felt back when they first met. He looked at her, and saw only Kikyo. She looked at Shoji, and saw…
She knew better than anyone, that a reincarnation was a completely different person altogether, they simply resembled their previous life. So why was he identical, save for shorter hair?
And why was he so familiar with her?
He reached forward, slicing into her thoughts, and she held her breath, as he touched her cheek, then her forehead.
"You feel a little warm, maybe I should walk you home," he offered. She wanted to refuse, and stay, but going home, and relaxing sounded like a better plan, and she conceded.
"Alright," she agreed quietly.
He helped her, up, and let her hold onto his arm, as they made their way off school grounds. Once they were down the street, she could hear the school bell chime as classes begun, and she let out a sigh.
"Ayumi said you were sick for quite a while, to be honest, I'm surprised you came to school today," he said, as they made their way down the street.
All she could do was sigh slightly. If Kagome of a year ago, saw Kagome today, she would kick her ass back into optimism.
"It comes and goes," she explained simply. What else could she say without looking completely crazy?
"It's strange, Ayumi talked about you a lot, but I never knew what you looked like. Still, you seem so familiar somehow," he seemed to wonder aloud.
"We've never met, I'd remember you," she said, with certainty. He laughed gently.
"Maybe in another life then," he teased.
His words caused her to distractedly trip, and twist her ankle, which throbbed more than any twisted ankle should be allowed to. She wanted to slap fate upside the head right now, if it even HAD a head…
Shoji held her upright, though she wanted to fall to the ground. Maybe it would swallow her up…
"Wow, that looks really swollen, you better not put any pressure on it," he began. He leaned her back against the wall to a building, and did the very last thing she expected. He crouched down in front of her.
"Hop on, I'll carry you piggyback to your house." he instructed.
She simply stared at him, and could almost see the amber eyes, and flowing silver hair…
But she was curious. Her sadness was ever slowly seeping away, the longer he was close to her. And she couldn't help but want to see exactly why he was thrust into her life so quickly, but fate was something she believed strongly in.
SO she hopped up onto his back, like she had on InuYasha's so many times before, and that's when it hit her.
He smelled the same too.
In essence, he was Inuyasha, but at the same time, he wasn't. But did that mean that InuYasha was inside him somewhere, like Kikyo had been inside of her?
He stood effortlessly, and began to walk in the direction she told him. Along the way, she rested her head on his shoulder, and wondered if this was meant to be, to get her to simply move on, without the intense pain and sorrow? Or was there something else behind all this? It would be one thing to see him in passing, but another to be interacting with him with familiarity.
He felt so warm too, and she knew she might be holding onto him a bit more tightly than necessary, but she didn't care. He did seem familiar too, in the strangest way. She was so caught up in the feel of it all, that she felt dread when he began to walk up the shrine steps.
"Ayumi told me you were shrine keepers. I've never seen one myself." he said.
"It's not much, a house, some rooms for storing ancient artifacts, and scrolls," she began.
"Wow, that's one huge tree," he said quietly. He seemed to make a beeline for the tree, and Kagome squeezed her eyes shut.
"It's our family's sacred tree." she said quietly in turn.
"It's amazing, Kagome. It has to be about a thousand years old," he said in awe. He stepped closer to the tree, and she felt a wave of panic wash over her, as if letting him get too close to it was wrong. It was InuYasha's tree.
"The house is over there," she spoke up, pointing in the direction of it. He nodded, and headed in that direction, and she let out a deep breath.
"Is your ankle bothering you?" he asked.
"It's not that bad, I've had worse," she admitted. Acid burned feet came to mind…
He brought her inside, and she frowned, realizing that no one was home. He seemed to notice this too, as he set her down on the fluffy couch.
"I'll go get you some ice," he said.
As he left the room to head for the kitchen, Kagome screamed into one of the throw pillows. Was this how InuYasha felt all the time about her? She was angry, but peaceful at the same time. Truthfully, she didn't know a word to describe how she felt…
He returned, not only with ice for her ankle, but with a warm cup of hot chocolate, of all things, with marshmallows.
"You don't have to do all this," she tried to explain, as he laid a blanket over her lap.
"Its alright, besides, just leaving you here all alone with a swollen ankle didn't feel right, after all I do sort of feel responsible, since it was my suggestion to walk you home that caused you to get hurt," he said.
"I'm just doomed to have bad luck," she muttered.
"You need anything else?" he asked.
"Um, I could read a book, but I'll get it later," she said.
"I'll get it, just tell me where it is," he said.
"I don't want you to fuss," she replied.
"Keh! It's no big deal, I promise." he said. Her heart skipped a beat. Did she hear him right? Did he just make the same sort of scoff too?! She deftly pointed up.
"First door, on the left," she answered, blinking at him in bewilderment. She sank down on the couch, and watched him walk out of the room….
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