Disclaimer: Own nothing but my own madness.

A/N: Thank you all sincerely who nominated this fic for Best Humor/ Parody. I never imagined it would be voted for and I was quite surprised. I'm just glad I can make you guys laugh and smile.  ~SP

Chuckling inwardly at his next endeavor, Sesshoumaru just knew he had this one in the bag. There was no way he didn't....he was perfect and perfection always came out on top. His superior skills as a demon lord would finally be put to use and he would be the sole victor and finally............here would be something else he was perfect at. Those other jobs were just flukes and proved nothing. Usually it took anyone else years to get to a place like this and due to his impressive entry performance he was admitted immediately and praised like one of his status should be. From far off he could see his mate and pup as well as his bastard half-brother and his mate and other acquaintances. Sporting a confident smirk and his head held high as one befitting his station, Sesshoumaru stepped out into the early morning to greet his soon to be fans and admirers....

Olympic Athlete

Sesshoumaru was due to perform in a few events thus securing his victory and first place in the overall competition. He would of course take the first place gold with as much dignity and humbleness as he could. It was not the others fault they were inadequate compared to him after all. He would compete in the areas of fencing, track and field, swimming, weight lifting and the triathlon. Martial arts would be all too easy and so he decided to forgo that.

Fencing would be an absolute breeze for him being the master swordsman that he was. Track and Field? No problem. He almost felt sorry for the others...........almost. It was not his problem that they were human...and there were no rules that said he HAD to tell anyone he was demon. Besides.......no one believed in then anyway. Demons like him and the hanyou were mere legends and so even better for him. Kagome had tried to talk him out of it, saying how unfair it would be but he was hearing none of it. All it did was earn him a place on the expensive and HARD sofa they shared in the home. He was sure once this was over she would return to her senses and apologize. He was always right after all.

Once the competition began, he began flawlessly like usual his fencing excellent and practiced. His opponent was defeated in mere seconds leaving the crowd in awe and admiration. There had never been anyone so skilled and talented before leaving the judges in shock. InuYasha and Kagome as well as the others would look on in silence, knowing that he would blow away the others and win gold after gold...that was the way it was right?

From there he would destroy the record time for the track and field as well as the triathlon earning him more and more admiration as time wore on. His ultimate victories would come when he did the weightlifting. Watching the humans struggle to lift hundreds of pounds, muscles bulging as they huffed and puffed to be the best. Once it came to his turn, he lifted the weight easily and for good measure added on more weight and continued to lift. Wanting to impress his new fans as well as the judges even more, he did simple tricks with the weights like spinning them and using one hand only.

The swimming portion would have Kagome in flames as she saw him come out in the Speedos they had to wear, his body oiled and glistening in the sunlight. The women in the crowd as well as a few men would swoon, making the miko more and more pissed. There would be some injuries in mere moments if Akiko had not restrained the woman who was slowly going insane. She was relieved when the signal came for them to start as Sesshoumaru did a perfect slice into the pool his strokes strong and fast. He was to the end and back before the others were even halfway, once more leaving shock and amazement.

 He decimated event after event, leaving no mercy in his wake and opponents humiliated and defeated. However the others were worried. There was no way that with the way he performed something would not be suspected. They could only hope that it was passed off as something that could be explained.

The Kami had to have been listening to a miko's prayers that day. And chose to grant them......but to the worst consequences afterward. Once all had been said and done, the votes tallied and the numbers crunched; all athletes were lined up and called for each award.....many would get a gold here, a silver there and a bronze that was not as coveted as the others but still good.

All they would hear was the announcer calling her mates name time after time as he accepted each medal his face proud.

"The gold in track and field.............Tanaka, Sesshoumaru!"

Fencing........Tanaka, Sesshoumaru!

Swimming..........Tana......"

It would all become a mix and blur as his name was called over and over as he stood on the podium that held him and the other two top winners. This was it.....he was on top of the world and nothing could ruin this....nothing. He was the best. 

"This Sesshoumaru has shown that he is the best...and now the whole world has seen it. There is nothing that can ruin this one's moment."  His eyes focused on the crowd as he ignored the rest of the announcements until..........he saw the shocked face of his mate and the rest and his half-brother burst into uncontrollable laughter. Snapping back into reality, he tuned his ears to hear the rest and he was the one this time to be shocked and awed.

"Due to the review of the judges and the absolute perfect performance of Tanaka, Sesshoumaru we have cause to believe that performance enhancing drugs have been used and so suspend all awards to Tanaka pending further investigation."

No.....there was no way. How dare they believe that HE, Sesshoumaru would stoop to use pathetic human drugs to be better than anyone. HE WAS BETTER THAN EVERYONE! The arena had completely gone silent at the announcement, except....for the one sound of unmistakable hanyou laughter and Kagome's worried face. Even the ones he had beaten and humiliated now sat back with satisfied smirks on their faces. They knew he was too good to be just a man. All he could hear now was  a voice echoing in his head ....

Suspend all awards.....pending investigation....enhancing drugs...suspending awards.....awards.....awards...*insert hanyou laughter* judges review....investigation.....review.....hanyou laughing......laughing............

He could feel the rage and heat building as his eyes began to twitch slowly and his hand shook from the fist he had it in. His now reddening eyes focusing on the judges and the other competitors who know noticed something was very, VERY wrong. Someone would pay for this insult.....and the laughter told him who. Maybe he could not kill the humans......but he could use InuYasha......this was his fault somehow. There was no other reason he would accept, his rational mind gone as his beast took over.

In the next moment, the whole place would erupt with screams as a giant white dog tore through the place, destroying all in his path as he headed for the seating....and a certain hanyou. Everyone had scattered, leaving the stupefied boy on his own still laughing and oblivious. Seeing the enraged demon barreling towards him, it was too late to run. "Well.............shit....." Would be his last words as everything went black.

Japan was never allowed to host the Olympics ever again.