Sesshoumaru stared out the window from his position on the edge of Kagome’s bed, thinking about what he should do. I should have killed her. I can kill her right now. He lifted his claws to her throat, having to lean down towards her. He placed one claw on her throat, then another, and another. All I have to do is swipe once…then she’s dead…dead. So simple…just that easy. Fluffy was about to swipe his claws across her throat, but then, something happened. Sesshoumaru could smell her, keenly; her scent engulfed him. He began to get a little dizzy; her scent was intoxicating. He quickly pulled away from her, still a little dazed. He now noticed that her scent was everywhere. It was calming, like the smell of a waterfall, springtime, and sakura blossoms all mixed together. How can a human smell so good? It wasn’t normal. Humans smelled like mud and rotten leaves…how could this Kagome smell different? He looked down, confused, at her. Could she be different than all the others? Was she special in some way? He realized she had some power emanating from her. It was her strength, her will, her unknown power. Sesshoumaru began to feel her aura returning. She was beginning to awaken. This Kagome girl would be awake in a matter of hours. She had slept now for three weeks. In the duration of those days, Sesshoumaru had not slept a wink. He had kept vigil over her day and night without rest. He didn’t eat, either. As a demon, he didn’t have to eat that often, but three weeks is a long time. He was hungry and tired, dead tired. He lay back against the bedpost and fought the urge to fall asleep. However, he could not fight it as his exhaustion spread through him and took hold of him as his eyes closed, falling to a deep sleep.
~*~*~*~
Five hours later
Kagome’s eyes opened slowly. She blinked away the sleep in her eyes. Using her arm as support, she sat up slowly. Where am I? Kagome looked around timidly, seeing her very familiar surroundings. She also spotted Sesshoumaru sitting at the foot of her bed, leaning against the bedpost. He’s asleep. Her memory came flooding back as she spied the doors to the balcony sway a little in the breeze. How is it that I can never commit suicide successfully? She looked down at Sesshoumaru, peacefully snoozing away. Sesshoumaru? Is it you that prevents my inevitable death? Kagome flexed her fingers, then arms. She felt tired. Her limbs felt so numb, so unused. How long have I been sleeping? She pushed back the warm covers and crawled over to where Sesshoumaru slept. He’s out cold. Jeez. It’s like the guy didn’t sleep for a month. If he were alert, he would have sensed me by now. She wrapped a lock of his hair around her finger. It was soft and silky. Kagome was tempted to start playing with his long hair, but she knew he would definitely kill her after he woke up. She brought her hand to his cheek, stopping an inch away from his face. He looks so cute! …I don’t want to wake him up, but I can’t get to sleep. I’d probably wake him up with any noise that I make anyways. She gently stroked Sesshoumaru’s cheek.
“Fluffy-sama?”
Sesshoumaru woke slowly, wondering what was stroking his cheek. His eyes opened quickly, that gentle aroma quickly meeting his senses.
“Kagome?”
Sesshoumaru turned to see the girl quickly bring her hand down from his face.
“So you awoke,” he said calmly.
The girl nodded an affirmative and twirled her hair around her finger.
“How long have I been, um, sleeping?” she asked.
“Three weeks,” he answered.
“Really?” Wow…I guess I was tired.
Sesshoumaru stood up, elegantly raising himself off the bed.
“Can you walk?”
Kagome glared at him. “Of course I can!” She slid off the bed and onto the floor. Amazingly, she held her balance, for a split second. She collapsed. If Sesshoumaru hadn’t caught her, that is. He set her back down on the bed, raising an eyebrow at her. Playfulness flickered across his eyes before returning to their cold, fierce glare.
“Of course you can.”
“Well, I have to keep trying!” she said fiercely. Then, as an after thought, she added, “Don’t catch me this time.”
Kagome pushed herself off the bed, trying to maintain her balance on her feet. However, she collapsed again. Sesshoumaru sat down on the bed and watched her try to stand without falling. This girl has spirit, at least. When Kagome finally managed to stand straight, she started walking. She took it step by step until she regained her balance and fluidity in her pace. She turned to Fluffy triumphantly.
“See?”
“Of course.”
Fluffy snapped his fingers, a servant appearing at his side immediately. He seemed to tell the servant something familiar. Then, he stood up and quietly walked to the door and hesitated. Kagome knew his body language by now, so she followed him out the door and down the hallways. She wasn’t sure where they were going, but the path seemed vaguely familiar. Once they arrived at a tall glass door, she knew where they were.
“Ummmm…a bath?” she asked.
“You might as well, after going three weeks without one,” he replied.
“Do you have to watch me?”
“It’s not like I want to, I have a few questions. Plus, you might try to kill yourself again.”
“And what do you care?”
Knives pierced his soul once more. He left the question unanswered as he sauntered over to a sakura tree and laid back against the trunk, facing away from the spring that had been donned Kagome’s. She sighed in annoyance as she shed her kimono and slipped into the spring. The hot water was refreshing to her unused limbs. The tranquility was broken by the sound of Sesshoumaru’s voice.
“How did my half-brother die?”
Kagome choked a little at the mention of Inu-Yasha.
“I told you, he was sucked into Hell by Kikyou, his lover,” her voice seemed on edge, but not as much as the last time he had asked.
“And what of the Tetsusaiga?”
“It was sucked into Hell with him.”
“Is there any way I can get it?”
“Go to Hell,” she replied.
Sesshoumaru sighed. That would be the logical answer, now, wouldn’t it? Now, what was he going to do? The girl was of no use to him. He couldn’t get the Tetsusaiga. Everything is turning out so wonderfully. Sarcasm would not help the situation. He heard the sound of dripping water. Well, now what to do with the girl. He looked across the room to a window. It was becoming dark now. Rin would need to eat soon. He could sense Kagome coming towards him. Sesshoumaru stood up and turned to her.
“You are hungry, right?”
She nodded.
“We’ll be eating soon.”
She nodded again, and he stared at her intently. Kagome saw the space between them close as he leaned closer to her. Then, he pulled back, seeming to re-think what he had just done. Kagome looked up at him. His eyes had taken on a sad and lonely look.
“You love him,” he stated sadly.
“Iie,” she said defiantly.
Sesshoumaru’s eyes seem to flash with hope, then back to cold indifference. However, Kagome still saw the change. Please don’t say he loves me. No. Why would he love me? Why would he even like me?
“Well, I did, at one point,” she reinforced.
His eyes stayed in their mood of cold indifference, seeming to flash with pain and something else. Why should I care if the wench loves that hanyou disgrace? It doesn’t matter to me. She is just a wench. He quickly brushed past Kagome and towards the door through which they had came. Kagome wanted to say something, but she couldn’t. Her throat seemed to be paralyzed, her words forbidden to leave her lips. So, she silently followed him to the dining room.
Upon arriving, the two were met by a bouncy Rin.
“Sesshoumaru-sama!” Rin wrapped her arms around his waist and received her pat on the head. Then, she ran to Kagome, also wrapping her arms around the woman’s waist.
“Kagome-chan! You finally woke up! Now you can play with Rin and Sesshoumaru-sama!”
Kagome blushed slightly at this comment. She bent down and hugged the girl back.
“Hai, Rin-chan. Now, I can play with you.”
Rin looked up to Kagome.
“And Sesshoumaru-sama!” Rin insisted.
Kagome’s eyes wandered over to Sesshoumaru, who was eating the food on the table absently. He delicately picked up the food with his chopsticks and placed it in his mouth, chewing for a few seconds and swallowing. His eyes were on Rin, watching her reaction. Kagome looked back to Rin, who was watching her expectantly.
“And Sesshoumaru-sama,” Kagome said hesitantly.
Rin smiled happily and went to her place at the table.
“Itadakimasu!” Rin said happily. She picked up her chopsticks and started eating.
Kagome smiled at the girl as she took her place beside Rin, across from Sesshoumaru. After she said ‘itadakimasu’, she picked up her chopsticks and started to eat. She had lost a little bit of her appetite after that incident with Fluffy.
After she finished eating, she glanced across the table to him. He was intently observing her. His gaze pierced through her being, sending shivers down her spine. She stared back at him. Rin, still present at the table, had fallen asleep in her chair. Kagome turned her attention to the sleeping child and excused herself from the table. She picked up Rin in her arms and began to walk away. Sesshoumaru was at her shoulder in a second.
“Where are you going?” he asked harshly.
“To…Rin’s…room,” Kagome hesitated in her answer, realizing she did not know where Rin’s room was. She kept walking nonetheless. Let him mock me.
“Do you still love him?”
Kagome was surprised by his question, stealing a glance at his figure walking beside her.
“What do you care?” she asked coldly.
Sesshoumaru was stabbed by a thousand knives. Yes. Why? He gently pushed her in the direction of Rin’s room, sliding open the door for her. As he quickly tried to sort his feelings out, Kagome laid Rin down on the bed and covered her with the blankets on the bed. They both left the room together, heading towards Kagome’s room. Kagome didn’t question why Sesshoumaru followed her. She just let him be.
“I do care,” Sesshoumaru finally answered.
Kagome was again surprised. She stopped walking and turned to face him. The moonlight shining from windows reflected off his hair, highlighting the silvery white that flowed down his back. The light shined off his eyes, making them a brilliant golden color. His eyes shone with an emotion that Kagome had never seen there before. What am I so mad at him for? I should be thankful he still hasn’t killed me. Why hasn’t he? She silently studied him for a moment but still couldn’t make out the emotion enveloping his eyes. He was still awaiting her answer.
“And why haven’t you killed me?” she asked coldly.
“You haven’t answered my question, yet. Do you still love him?” he shot back.
“So what if I do? So what if I don’t? It shouldn’t matter to you,” she replied.
“Do you? Or don’t you?” he insisted. There was a timid hope in his eyes, along with that unknown emotion.
“What are you hoping for?” she demanded.
“Do you? Or don’t you?” he asked more firmly. “Give me an answer.”
Kagome hesitated for a moment, her expression softening a little. “And if I said I do, what would you do?”
“I…” Sesshoumaru looked away, trying to mask his sorrow at the words.
“I see. And what would you do if I said I don’t?”
His face seemed to lift at the words, then fall again. She’s toying with me…Calm down.
“Just give me an answer. You’ll see my reaction,” he stated monotonously.
“Okay. I did love him,” she said.
The expression in his eyes turned from hopeful, to sad, and then to cold indifference. His soul was pierced again and again with each word she threw at him.
“So, you do,” he announced. Sesshoumaru was turning to leave for his room.
“Fluffy-san!” Kagome called.
Sesshoumaru hesitated slightly but then kept on walking. Kagome grabbed his wrist, making him stop in his tracks. He turned to her, annoyed.
“What?!”
“I said, I DID love him,” Kagome explained.
“So, you did. Meaning…”
“I don’t anymore.”
His eyes flickered and danced with unknown emotions.
“Well, maybe I do, but he’s chosen another. I guess I do love him but not in the way I had before,” she explained. “What does it matter to you?” she asked gently, letting his wrist fall back at his side.
The moonlight streamed in, accentuating Kagome’s features. Her blue-gray eyes sparkled with curiosity. Raven black hair flowed down to her waist and fell loosely about her shoulders. The sight of her made Sesshoumaru a little nervous. Nervous? I, the great Sesshoumaru? Yes. He left her question unanswered and asked her a question of his own.
“Do you…” his voice seemed to falter. Care about me? Should I ask? He debated the question in his head.
“Do I…” Kagome’s heart thumped with anticipation.
Sesshoumaru’s head pounded with questions and expected answers. For once in his life, he was worried about what someone would say to him. Never have I cared for what a human would say to me…until now. Finally deciding what to do, he took a step closer to her.
“Fluffy-san?” Kagome seemed a little worried about what he might do. He was so much stronger than her. She felt two arms wrap around her, one around her shoulders, the other around her waist. She was totally shocked. The grip on her was not life threatening, but gentle and…loving?
“Fluffy-sama?”
“Do…you care?” he asked softly. He held Kagome to him tightly, not wanting to let go. Her head was laid near his shoulder.
“About…” Kagome was fearful of his coming response. She knew what it was, but she didn’t want to accept the fact that Sesshoumaru cared about someone. Especially since he cared about her.
Sesshoumaru held her closer. “About me.” He, too, was afraid of the other’s response. With one simple word, she could totally destroy him, his heart, his feelings, his entire being. He was totally obsessed with her. He thought about her all the time, saw her in his mind every time he closed his eyes, smelled her scent everywhere he went. She was going to drive him crazy for the rest of his life if he didn’t find out how she felt. Of course, she could lie. The thought scared him. No, she wouldn’t lie. She would never lie.
“Of course. I care about everything,” Kagome stated matter-of-factly.
This was not the answer Sesshoumaru had expected. “But…do you love me?” The word seemed like a new taste upon his tongue. Never had he used the word in such a way. There was no such thing as love to him. It was a powerful emotion among humans, rarely found among the youkai population. He, however, understood the emotion enough to use it. He had loved his okaa-san, and she had loved him. This was a different love, though. It was something that stirred deep in his heart. It pulled at his being, his life. He pulled away from Kagome a little. “Do you?”
Kagome looked up at him. She saw a hopeful look in his eyes, masked by a thin layer of indifference that was melting away with each passing second. Is it possible that I fell in love in such a short time? No…I could never, after Inu-Yasha… but maybe I could. She looked up at Sesshoumaru in indecision.
“Well, do you love me?” she finally asked.
Sesshoumaru held her tighter. “What do you think?”
“Hai,” she replied.
“Soo desu,” he answered. (That’s right) “Do…you love me?” his voice began to waiver with nervousness.
Kagome’s head pounded with possible answers. No. Yes. Maybe…not. What will he do? She looked up into Sesshoumaru’s eyes and laid her head back on his shoulder. Before she knew what she was saying, she had answered his question.
“Hai, Sesshoumaru-sama.”
Total surprise crossed over his face. “You…do?” he asked, thinking he had heard wrong.
“Hai, Sesshoumaru-sama,” she repeated, hugging him lightly. “Hai.”
With that, she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him down slightly. Kagome gave a light kiss on the cheek and left to her room, walking slowly down the moonlit hallways and leaving Sesshoumaru standing there. After taking ten steps from him, she turned around and blew him a kiss.
“Oyasuminasai, Fluffy-chan,” she whispered. Then, she turned around and kept walking towards her room. Fluffy stood there, still unable to believe what had just happened. She loves me…
“Kagome-chan,” Sesshoumaru called softly.
Kagome stopped walking and turned towards him.
“Hai, Sesshoumaru-sama?”
“Do you truly mean what you say?” he asked timidly. His voice seemed to choke and waiver with every word, afraid of the possibility of a ‘no.’
“Hai, Sesshoumaru-sama,” she answered, “Why wouldn’t I?” She smiled at him.
While she had been talking, he had been slowly walking towards her.
“For reasons unknown to me,” he said.
“And why would I have such reasons? I have nothing, no one…except you…and Rin. I have no one,” she said quietly. Her eyes shone with tears. “No one.”
Sesshoumaru wrapped his arms around her again and held her tightly to him.
“Are you not happy?” he asked, upset. He was unhappy, very unhappy. If Kagome was not happy, he was not happy.
“Why would I not be happy?” she asked, twirling a lock of his hair around a finger. “I’ve got everything here with you. There’s no reason to be upset over me.”
He relaxed his hold on her, letting his head rest on her shoulder.
“Are you…truly happy?” he whispered.
“Of course,” she whispered.
Sesshoumaru combed his fingers through her raven black hair, thinking and re-thinking what had happened up to this point, allowing his fingers to slip through her silky hair. Releasing her from his hold, he pulled back from her. He brought his hand to stroke her cheek. She placed her hand on top of his, gently squeezing it.
“Don’t worry, Fluffy-chan,” her eyes twinkled joyfully, “I am happy.”
Fluffy smiled. Kagome’s breath caught in surprise. She had never seen Sesshoumaru smile before. A real smile. He looks so handsome when he smiles. Why doesn’t he do it more often? She smiled back at him, her eyes twinkling with happiness, all her worries forgotten. Kagome brought his hand from her cheek to her lips, gently kissing it.
“Daisuki da yo, Sesshoumaru.” She smiled again. “I belong to you and only you.” Kagome wound her arms tightly around him. “Only you.”
“And I,” Sesshoumaru answered, wrapping his arms around Kagome, “belong to you.” He pulled back and cupped her chin in his hand. “And only to you.” Sesshoumaru leaned down to kiss her, and she didn’t push him away.