When I woke the next morning, I found Bankotsu and Myouga outside my door. I dressed in comfortable pants and a short sleeved shirt before tying my sword on my hip and following them to the great hall. There, I saw my family, and the families of all the kingdoms; including the western kingdom.

The four royal families were the eastern wolves; the northern bears; the southern panthers; and the western dogs. I sat across from Sesshomaru and Rin, under the rising sun. To my right sat the Lord of the north with his musuko and musume. To my left sat the Lord of the south with his musuko and musume.

“Welcome, families of the four kingdoms. We gather here today so that our children may acquaint themselves with each other.” Kouga announced, getting everyone’s attention. “I suggest that we leave them to talk amongst themselves.” The lord of the north claimed. “I agree.” The lord of the south declared.

Kouga nodded, sent me a look that said ‘don’t insult them unless they insult you’ and left with the other lords. Sesshomaru moved to make his way to me, but thankfully was cut off by the hime from the north. Just as I was about to make my way to my own siblings, the oji of the north caught my arm.

“Hello, Hime Kagome. My name is Mukotsu.” He said. “Hello Oji Mukotsu.” I inclined my head, searching for my siblings and my musuko. “Are you searching for someone?” he asked, a little coldly. “My sibling and my musuko.” I answered. Suddenly, it went deathly quiet in the room and all eyes turned to me.

“I adopted Shippo. He is my musuko.” I confirmed. Everyone turned back to their own conversations as if nothing had happened. “Why would you adopt a child?” Mukotsu asked. “Because I am an Okaa-san at heart. I could not allow the fiends who pretended to be his parents continue to use them as they had been. He is only a child and he needs a real mother. I became his mother the moment I knew those people were using him.” I replied, grinding my teeth together.

“That is quite foolish.” He responded. “No. what you say is foolish. Do not dare to assume you know simply because of who my Outo-san is.” I retorted as I ripped my arm form his rip. With that, I made my way across the room to Shippo and my siblings. “Are you alright, momma?” Shippo inquired.

“I am fine, dear heart. Why don’t you go play with Kikyou and Inuyasha?” I suggested, pushing away my anger as I placed a kiss on his forehead. Before he could walk away, the southern oji strolled up to us. “Hello Hime Kagome, Oji Shippo. I am Oji Renkotsu.” He addressed us. “Hello Oji Renkotsu. Are you going to upset my Okaa-san as well?” Shippo asked him, narrowing his eyes coldly.

“I shall try not to, Oji Shippo.” He replied. At this, my eyes narrowed upon him. He was far too smooth for my liking. He had something up his sleeve. “Shippo, go play with Kikyou and Inuyasha. I’ll collect you when it’s time to go.” I told him, giving his shoulder a slight squeeze.

 He nodded and walked over to where my siblings were. After I was sure he was safe, I turned my gaze to the oji of the south. “Hello Oji Renkotsu.” I greeted. “You are quite a beauty, Hime Kagome.” He said as he lifted my hand and kissed it. “Um…. Thank you, Oji Renkotsu.” I responded curiously as I pulled my hand away.

“Where did you get those callouses from? If you don’t mind my asking?” he inquired. “I got them when I was working. I am a blacksmith. Before my Okaa-san married Lord Kouga I worked in the western kingdom. I plan to continue my work as soon as I get my supplies from my shop in the west.” I answered warily.

 Something flashed across his eyes before he spoke again. “I don’t believe I’ve ever met a hime or lady of the kingdoms that has worked a day in her life. Your Okaa-san’s marriage into the eastern family was fortunate for your family.” He quipped.

“My Okaa-san married Lord Kouga because they love each other.” I responded. “Oh, I’m sure. And it just happens that you don’t work right now. Your mother married into money and status.” he remarked.

“I supported my family without his money or his status. She would have married him no matter his status. If he lost the kingdom my Okaa-san would stay with him until death. How dare you presume to know what is fortunate for my family and insinuate that about my Okaa-san and my family? Unlike you, my Okaa-san loves Lord Kouga. Whereas you and Oji Mukotsu merely wish to court me for access to the crown of the east as well as your own crown.” I bit out.

With that, I stormed away from him to the children. “I am sorry, Rin. We must leave here for now. If you wish, you may come to the family wing and we will all go to the gardens together later.” I told her. She agreed and I took the children to the family wing. I met momma in her room with them behind me.

“Catrina, aren’t you four supposed to be meeting with the other lords’ heirs?” my Okaa-san asked. “Momma those ojis are fools! I cannot be near them! I refuse to speak with them again! Oji Mukotsu insulted that I adopted Shippo. He said it was foolish that I am a mother at heart. Oji Renkotsu accused you of marrying Kouga just for his money and title. I thought I would kill the fool. I refuse to even consider allowing either of those bakas to court me.” I asserted.

 Just then, Kouga stormed into the room, and I cringed at the anger rolling off of him. “Kagome.” He ground out. “Um…… I can explain.” I said. “Then please, do explain to me why the heirs of the north and south had to be taken to the healer from the beatings they received.” He exclaimed.

“I didn’t beat them. I didn’t touch them. all I did was defend myself and my Okaa-san from their words. I left before I could lose control of myself and hurt them.” I defended. “Then who beat them to a pulp?” he questioned angrily. “I don’t know! When I left the great hall, the only injuries they had were from being rejected!” I shouted.

“Who else would have beat them so horribly?” momma interjected. “Bankotsu and Myouga weren’t there. I can’t think of anyone else who would want to hurt the bakas besides those two and myself.” I answered. “Did either of them touch you?” Kouga queried.

 “Oji Mukotsu grabbed my arm while he was talking to me. Oji Renkotsu kissed my hand before he insulted me and momma.” I affirmed. “It might have been Lord Sesshomaru.” Kikyou interrupted. “What makes you say that sweetie?” momma asked. “Well, he seemed really angry when the ojis touched Kagome. He looked really mad when she was upset.” Inuyasha agreed.

 “You don’t think he would really risk the alliances?” I questioned. “Kagome!” Sango shouted as she entered the room. “What’s wrong?” I called. “Lord Sesshomaru. He’s calling for you. He has refused to speak to anyone but you. He’s admitted to beating the ojis.” Sango exclaimed.

“Tell him to meet me in the market with Rin. I’ll speak with him while I look for somewhere to put my shop. My supplies are going to be here tomorrow.” I agreed, making my way to my bedroom. “Kagome, wear the kimono you wore to the wedding. We’ll have Kirara make you some more designed like that for when you work later.” Kouga called.

 “Alright papa; have Kikyou, Shippo and Inuyasha ready to go when I get ready.” I called back. I changed quickly into my amber modified kimono, tied my sword to my hip, and strapped my quiver and bow to my back. I did my hair up and back in a simple bun and left some of my hair to lie across my shoulders.

When I left the room, I found the children ready to go. “Alright. you can play with Rin while I speak with Lord Sesshomaru and look for a new shop. I just need you to stay where I can see you, okay” I asked. They nodded, and we left with Bankotsu and Myouga following us.

When we got to the market, I saw many of the people there give me a slight bow as we passed and inclined my head to them. After a quick scan of the market place, I decided where I wanted to put my shop. There was an open space right across from a shop where a youkai worked that seemed to have the ability to make all sorts of metal appear on a whim.

Smiling, I turned to go into the shop. “Hello, I wish to speak with you.” I told the on’nanoko. “Hello how may I- Hime Kagome!” she shouted as she turned to look at me. “Yes, hello. May I ask your name?” I asked.

“Um…. My name is Ayame, Hime. What can I do for you?” she questioned. “I would like to make a deal with you. I am opening a blacksmith shop just across from you. I will pay you to make metals for my shop so that I may make my works.” I offered. “Yes, of course, Hime Kagome.” She replied.

“It is your choice. I can get my metal from where I used to buy it from. I am making you this deal from one entrepreneur to another. I will also give you a choice of any weapon you like. In exchange for selling me metal, you may commission any weapon free of charge for as long as you wish.” I told her.

She smiled, and bowed her head in agreement. “Excellent. I will return tomorrow with my first order to put in. For now, I must go get my shop put up.” I smiled, as I turned from the shop. This would be wonderful. When I came back out, I saw that Bankotsu and Myouga had already gotten the wood and started building the shop.

Grabbing a plank, I started helping them. “Kagome, you shouldn’t be doing that.” Bankotsu called. “Oh, hush Bankotsu. I’m not going to just sit around and wait while you build my shop. I helped last time and I’ll help this time.” I argued.

He immediately stopped arguing. I had forgotten that if I gave them an order then they had to do what I said. I felt guilty right away. I didn’t want someone to take that kind of freedom away from me and I had just done that to him; unintentional as it was I had still done it.

“I’m sorry Bankotsu. You know I didn’t mean that as an order. You may voice your opinion; just know that I’ll still help no matter what you say.” I called out. He nodded and continued working on building the shop. I sighed, but stiffened when I felt Lord Sesshomaru’s aura closing in on mine.

It calmed me, but it set me on edge that I had noticed he was entering the market place. “Hello Lord Sesshomaru.” I called over my shoulder. “Hello Ka- Hime Kagome.” He greeted. “Kids, why don’t you go play?” I suggested as I continued to barely acknowledge Sesshomaru and set my shop up.

I heard them shuffle off to the edge of my senses as I finished lifting the wall I had been working on. “What it is you wish to speak to me about, Lord Sesshomaru?” I inquired. “I wish to speak to you alone.” He answered. “Forgive me…… Bankotsu, Myouga, go speak to Ayame of whatever you wish until I tell you otherwise.” I ordered.

I hated having to do that to them. But they wouldn’t have left me alone with him otherwise. When they were inside the shop across from us, I turned to the next wall and spoke. “Now, what is it you wish to speak with me about?” I repeated.

“Why did you run?” he asked. “I ran because I had the right to run. You have no right to make me feel worse about what I did. I had no choice but to lie. If you had known before you got to know me, can you honestly tell me that you wouldn’t have killed me and my family?” I questioned.

He was silent for a long time, and I knew he was trying to find a way out of the question. “No, I cannot.” He whispered. “Then please leave me be. I know that you hate me. I also know that if you could you would still kill me. I am sorry I lied and that I hurt you. But I wish to no longer feel this pain.” I replied quietly.

“What pain?! You tore my heart out!” he shouted. “The pain of loving someone who wants to kill me. The pain of falling in love with someone I knew I shouldn’t have. And the pain of loving someone who hates me.” I whispered.

Before I could wipe them away, my tears escaped my eyes and fell to the ground. I struck the wood in front of me. “I have lost you.” He claimed softly. “If so then it was by your own doing. You lost me because you pushed me away. I am sorry a half-ling such as I caused you such pain. I wish to give you back your heart; but I’m afraid that I don’t have it. I have lost it, along with my own."

"Perhaps you can find it back in the west, in the river where you accused me of lying to Rin. Where you called me a half breed and a half-ling. I lied because I had to lie to survive. I never lied about my beliefs or my feelings. The only lie I have ever told is about my blood status. I never accused you of things that never happened. I never wanted to fall in love. I should have stayed away from you. You were the one who sought me out. I tried to avoid the hurt of seeing you again.” I admitted quietly, wishing he would leave me to cry in silence.

Instead, he wrapped his arms around me from behind and pulled me close, burying his nose in my hair. “I refuse to lose you.” He asserted. “It is too late. I refuse to hurt anymore. I will allow my Outo-san to find a suitor to court me so that I might find a mate that can accept me as I am.” I intoned.

“You will not. I will challenge any man who tries to claim you.” He declared. “You would deny me happiness?” I questioned. “They cannot make you happy.” He remarked. “And I suppose you can? You’ve done a real good job of it so far. Every time I speak with you I end up crying.” I retorted.

“I cannot lose you. I have chosen you as my future mate and I will have no other. I refuse to lose you.” He replied. “It is not that you love me, it is that you refuse to lose a prize to another. I am not a possession. I am an onna; one who’s heart you have torn into for the last time.” I declared as I wrenched myself form his arms.

My tears were falling faster now, and with every breath I took more continued to fall. I spun to face him and raised my hand. Before I could stop myself, my hand struck his cheek and there was a red hand print branding his face.

“I am not something to win or lose in a game! I refuse to be treated as an object! I hate my love for you! May you rot in the underworld for what you have done to me!” I yelled as I left. “Kagome wait!” Rin yelled.

“I’m sorry Rin. I know you thought he loves me. He is incapable of loving me as I love him. I cannot wait for him to learn. I will see you again. But I cannot be around him.” I told her as tears continued to fall. “Bankotsu! Myouga! Watch the children until it is time for them to come home! I will be returning early!” I shouted before running from the market.

When I entered the castle, I ran to the back and straight to the edge of the gardens where it met the river. I fell to my knees at the edge of the water and cried. I cried for my pain, anger, and hurt. I cried for my heart, which I could still feel breaking under the strain it was in from trying to hold onto the love I felt for Sesshomaru.

I cried for the hatred I felt growing at myself. I hated myself for being so weak in front of him and in front of everyone in the market. I hated that I still loved him even after what he had said and how he had acted.

I hated that I couldn’t stop feeling so much. I felt his aura coming towards me, but I refused to move. I sat there, with my face in my hands, staring out into the water. I barely acknowledged the tears that flowed from my eyes freely and I began to feel numb.

“Kagome.” I heard him call. “Kagome.” He repeated himself. I continued to stare mutely at the flowing water, wishing he would leave even as he kneeled beside me. “Kagome, look at me.” he ordered. I was so tired of fighting with him, I turned my head to face him and saw him gasp and stare at me in shock.

“What? Do you not like how I have become like you? Cold? Distant? Numb?” I asked softly. “I never meant to hurt you Kagome.” He said. “It doesn’t matter if you meant to hurt me or not. I have made my decision. I will never marry. I will die alone when my time comes. Then perhaps my soul will find peace in the afterlife.” I whispered.

I didn’t care anymore. I would continue to work, but I could no longer live life as I had been. I had lost my will to live. I was…. Numb; broken. “No. You will fight.” He ordered. “It matters not. I have no fight left within me. I am… a broken toy.” I declared sadly.

 “You are not a toy. You are not an object. You are a person, Kagome. Fight!” he shouted. “How am I supposed to fight? I have nothing left to give the fates. They have taught me well the lesson that some of us should never love.” I replied quietly.

“You are a fighter! What happened to the onna who yelled at me for insulting her?! What happened to the onna who was educated like a man in the span of two moon cycles?! What happened to the onna who wanted to spar with me for the fun of it?! What happened to the onna who adopted an orphaned kit?!” he questioned.

I looked up into his eyes, even as tears continued to fall from my own, and spoke with as much emotion as I could. “She fell in love with a man who could not love her back. she fell I love with someone who broke her heart. She is…. Broken. Never to return the way she once was. There is nothing left of the heart that was once there.” I answered, standing quietly and beginning a stroll through the gardens.

“Kagome, I know you. You are a fighter. You can get through this.” He pushed. “I have no heart. A warrior is only as good as their fighting heart. I cannot fight with a shattered heart.” I replied. “I cannot let you do this to yourself.” He asserted.

“Perhaps, you should have never shown your emotions to me then. You should have kept your mask. Now, I wear the same mask.” I responded. “No! My mate will not wear a mask!!” he yelled at me. At this, I cracked; I showed emotion.

“I am not your mate! I will never be your mate! I refuse to be with someone who cannot love me! Let my broken heart shatter!” I shouted back. “Kagome, I cannot let you fall into darkness as I did.” He said. “Why not?! Why am I not allowed to be in pain?!” I cried.

“Because I will not see you in pain! It hurts me to see you in pain!” he retorted. “Then hurt for all I care. You just don’t want to feel guilty! You can just rot in hell if you think that I’m going to stop hurting to take away your guilty conscience!” I shouted, turning on my heel to leave.

He grabbed my arm and yanked me back into him, wrapping his arms around me from behind. “Let me go, Sesshomaru!” I ordered. “I cannot lose you, Kagome.” He whispered in my ear. “I hate you!” I yelled, crying as I fought to be freed from his grasp.

 “I am sorry it took me so long to say it, Kagome. I will leave you be; but know that I will always love you.” He said quietly in my ear before disappearing. I collapsed to the ground. How could he say that now? How could he finally say he loved me, only after he had hurt me so much and leave?

I couldn’t breathe. I fell to my hands as I tried to choke in air that my lungs were depriving me of. After a few moments of desperately trying to breathe, everything went dark and silent.